


The Diary of Anthony Romanelli (Hiatus)

by mewtophia



Series: Angel Being The Youngest Hazbin [2]
Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Child Marriage, F/M, Gen, Hurt Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Death in Childbirth, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Underage Prostitution, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, M/M, Minor Alastor/Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Past Underage, Underage Drug Use
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:48:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 2,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23322724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mewtophia/pseuds/mewtophia
Summary: Anthony never had the best life, the moment he was born everything already went downhill.The story of the youngest Romanelli and Hazbin.~In Hiatus until further notice~
Relationships: Alastor/Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Angel Dust & Vaggie (Hazbin Hotel)
Series: Angel Being The Youngest Hazbin [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1667725
Comments: 4
Kudos: 80





	1. 2005

**Author's Note:**

> This series is not dead—

_To my future self,_

I like it here in New York, but sometimes it can be a bit boring. I wanna go somewhere like Los Angeles or New Orleans, it looks fun there. My siblings are great, Molly’s working very hard along with Martin! Though, they don’t like talking about their job. I asked them one time, and Molly said I didn’t need to know, Martin just ignored me, it made me kinda sad.

Speaking of that, Molly’s always paranoid. One time I went out to play with the other kids and didn’t tell her, she found me and told me to get back inside. I got a scrape while going inside, though, and it made her panic so much! She told me that I shouldn’t go out without telling her, which made her forbid me from going outside for a week. It was unfair, so I think I should hide my scars from her from now on. I don’t like seeing her sad and worried.

I don’t think Martin and Papa like me, though. Martin always tells me to stay away from him or to not try talking to him. He got mad at me for asking him who the lady in the picture was, he told me to “shut my trap because it’s none of my business.” I don’t like the way he talks to me, he always sounds so scary. Papa always drinks this juice called ‘alcohol’, it makes him all loopy and weird.

Besides that, I’m really loving school. The teachers say I’m more advanced than my classmates, I can already do an equation like 2 times 2! The others aren’t really happy about it, though. Nobody wants to play with me during recess time, and whenever I ask them, they always say no, so I just play by myself or stay alone in the classroom. It gets lonely sometimes, but I don’t want to annoy the other kids, so I’ll just leave it be. They also make fun of me whenever Molly comes to pick me up, they say that they take the bus home so they don’t need their mama to come and pick them up. Funnily enough, I don’t know my mama. Nobody talks about mama in the house, whenever someone brings it up, the room is always so silent.

I think mama’s just at work far far away, and they’re sad about it. I hope mama comes back, so that we can all be one big happy family again, just like how they were before!

_With lots of love, Anthony Romanelli :)_


	2. 2006

_To my future self,_

Sometimes, Martin actually talks to me. We were at the grocery with Molly the other day, and she told us to get the vegetables while she handles the rest. I got stuck with Martin, he didn’t look happy with it, but I think he had no choice. I feel sad for him sometimes, but at the same time, I don’t know if I should feel for him, he’s angry at me a lot of the time… 

Anyways, he asked me how school was, and I couldn’t help but lie, because I’m sometimes not happy at school. The other kids keep avoiding me, and they tell me that I should go home with my mama instead, even though I told them many times that I don’t know my mama. I told him I was at the top of my class, though (that part isn’t a lie!). He looked okay with it, and I asked how work was. He said work was tiring, and that I shouldn’t think about working until I’m older, because papa probably has a job for me already, which is the same one as his and Molly’s. 

Speaking of Molly, I haven’t been hiding my scars and wounds from her well. She still gets worried whenever I go out, and she always checks to see if I ever get injured. I don’t like letting her check, she always looks so sad and worried whenever she finds a scar, even the tiniest one can make her worry like someone took papa away. She even forbid me from going outside for an entire week, it was unfair. I wanted to go out today, but I guess you just can’t have your way sometimes. :( 

Also, papa’s getting scarier and scarier...

A few days ago, he screamed at me for dropping a cup of water and forced me to clean it up, he said he’ll punch me if I didn’t do it properly. Molly came in to my defense, though, while I was cleaning up. After that, she carried me and hugged me all the way to my room. She started crying, and told me that mama wouldn’t have let it happen if she was here, I didn’t like it. I didn’t like how I made Molly cry, she looked so upset...

It made me even more sad because their birthday was in a few weeks, too. They were turning 19, so old, but still. Papa’s also hard on them as well, and he comes home late. I sometimes ask Martin where he’s at, and he always says he’s handling things. 

You know, I sometimes feel like I’m being left out... especially when the topic is mama, nobody likes to talk about mama. I don’t get it, where even is mama? They act as if mama doesn’t exist. I want to see mama, I never saw mama, Martin told me mama left when I was born. It made me feel sad, maybe mama left because I made her sad...

Future self, if you’re reading this, do people feel sad whenever you’re around them? Apparently, yes, for me... I wish people could be more happy when I’m around. I don’t even know what I’m doing wrong, it’s like I just... make people sad, no matter what happens, sadness just surrounds me wherever I go and whoever I talk to.

Sorry that this got a bit emotional, I’ll keep smiling. So that nobody gets to be sad anymore. :)

_With lots of love, Anthony Romanelli_

**PS: Keep on smiling, Anthony. That way, people will forget how sad they’ll be when you’re around them.**


	3. 2007

_To my future self,_

I’m 1st grade now, it’s nice. The other kids still don’t want to talk to me, but I’m used to it, so I just leave it be. I want to do things by myself these days, but Molly keeps insisting that I should let her join me. I always let her, she doesn’t like it when I don’t let her, she gets all worried and upset. Martin’s been ignoring me more, he just goes to work, comes back, drinks alcohol, and sleeps. That’s how it is, same thing for papa, but he’s always with his friends. He comes back all drunk and loopy, then falls asleep on the couch.

I don’t get it, why is everyone still so sad around me? I try to smile, I don’t tell anyone my problems and show anyone my scars because it makes them even more sad. Actually, it’s either they’re sad or they don’t care, that’s how it always is. I wish I could do something about it, but you know… there isn’t much, really. I tell my teachers, but they always say the same thing.

“Don’t worry, Anthony. You’re a very smart boy, you’ll be able to find out.”

I sometimes hate my teachers, honestly. Sometimes they act like they know everything about you, other times they don’t and try to sympathize with you all because they think you’re a kid who doesn’t know how the world works. I tell them about how my classmates are still throwing pebbles and stones at me, but they tell me that they can’t do anything about it because “they didn’t see it happen.” I don’t want to tell Molly, because it will end up with her shouting at the teachers for not doing their job. I don’t want to tell Martin or papa either, they don’t care anyways.

I wish mama were here, maybe she’ll understand. Maybe she can tell my classmates to stop throwing pebbles and rocks at me, maybe she can convince Molly to stop being so overprotective of me, maybe she can convince Martin and papa to care about me for once, even if it’s just a second.

I feel so alone, there’s Molly, but she’s always so worried about me, it makes me sad just thinking about it… I don’t like seeing Molly sad, but at the same time, I don’t want to keep this from her, but she’ll get sad and angry again.

Oh.

I got the page wet, sorry, future self. Tears are coming from my eyes, like when Molly and Martin talk about mama. Molly always has tears in her eyes when Martin talks about mama with her.

Is it normal? I’ve been letting out tears without them seeing. Anyways, sorry, future self. I’ll write to you soon.

_With lots of love, Anthony Romanelli_

**PS: Apparently crying a lot isn’t normal, no wonder the other kids avoid me.**


	4. 2008

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Includes implied/referenced rape and other sensitive themes, viewers discretion is advised.

_To my future self,_

I hate 2nd grade, it’s the worst year so far. I never knew I could get more hurt than before, apparently I can. Mr. Sam is our 2nd grade math teacher, and he keeps telling me how beautiful I am. He tells me that I’m the best student in the class and that I should be a level ahead of them due to my intelligence, and I believed him.

But one day we were alone together because he said he wanted to talk to me about my grades, I got scared because I thought I was in trouble… I wasn’t, surprisingly. He just started talking about how smart I am, but then he started touching me. I felt very uncomfortable, but he kept touching me, I told him to stop, but he didn’t.

He didn’t stop, he took off my clothes, he started doing things to me, I cried the entire time, but he told me that I’ll enjoy it. I didn’t enjoy it, not one bit. He hurt me, and I told him, but he didn’t listen. I felt so dirty afterwards, he just told me to put on my clothes and that we’ll see each other next week. I wanted to tell Molly, but again, I don’t like seeing her sad and worried.

Martin and papa don’t care, anyways. I don’t see a good reason to tell them, they’ll probably tell me it was my fault **(it really was, I should’ve stopped him sooner)**.

I wish mama was here, I truly do. Maybe she’ll stop the bad man, you know? I want mama, I want mama to hold me, hug me and tell me bed time stories. I like the stories where they receive their happily ever after, like Snow White or Cinderella. Molly used to read me those stories, and I love them.

I can feel the bad man’s touch everywhere, it’s cold. So cold…

I don’t like it.

Somebody, anybody, get his cold touch off of me, please…


	5. 2009

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I didn’t forget about this I was just busy—

_To my future self,_

Molly made papa move me to another school, she thinks that the school the bad man was at isn’t good. It took a while, but papa gave in eventually. I’m glad that she made me transfer, I didn’t want to be anywhere near the bad man, especially since he would’ve became my 3rd grade advisor if it didn’t happen...

Still, I don’t think this school is any different. The people there still think I’m weird, because I’m all quiet and aloof. I prefer to be alone these days, which Molly worries about. It made me sad seeing her worry for me, meanwhile Martin’s just being himself as usual. Except he actually talks to me, it’s just simple conversation though, like “how was school” or “did you get hurt” or something...

Papa still doesn’t care, he keeps drinking his alcohol. And I heard from Martin that papa’s doing something called drugs. Something called heroin??? I’m not sure...

Sorry, I have to cut this short. I hope to write again, though.

_Sincerely, Anthony Romanelli._


	6. :December of 2000:

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short letter was found

_**December 2000** _

**Heya! It’s me, Molly. How’re you doing, future little brother? Ma’s so excited to see you! Pa’s a bit skeptical, but he keeps on rubbing ma’s stomach, he’s excited to have you as well! Martin though, I’d say he’s one of the most excited. Doesn’t really show it much, but you can tell that he’s excited, he said he always wanted a younger sibling (which, ahem, hello? I’m right here, 10 minutes younger than you! Hehe), and I would say the same thing!**

**Though, hate to break it to you, but Ma’s been getting sick. I mean, honestly, she’s always been a sickly woman. But when I mean that she’s been getting sick, I mean... WAY more sick that usual. She always tells us it’s alright, but I can’t help but worry, you know? Anyhow, I’m excited for you to come into the world! Ma’s already picking out a few names with pa, they’ve decided on either Anthony or Angelo. I like Anthony better, though...**

**Anthony...**

**Fits you, doesn’t it?**

**Anyways, Christmas party is about to start soon. I CAN’T miss out! I’ll try to write, hehe!**

**Love, your dear older and BEST sister, Molly.**

_PS: Martin here, you better come out healthy, alright? Everyone’s waiting for you. Advanced “welcome to the world,” Anthony._


	7. 2010

_Dear future self,_

It’s me, again.

It’s been a while, hasn’t it? 4th grade is fine, I’m still getting good grades. But you know... something bad happened to Molly.

We went to the doctor yesterday, and apparently she has some sort of heart disease. I can’t remember what it was called, all I remember that Molly’s probably dying in a year or two, give or take. I hate this, I hate this so much.

I don’t want Molly to die, and I can tell papa and Martin feel the same. Molly is Martin’s younger twin, if Molly dies then he’ll be stuck with me. Martin doesn’t have it, but apparently mama had it. It’s hereditary, I think. I wonder what mama would think...

Her only daughter’s dying before she even reaches her thirties, Molly’s living until 25, or 24, I don’t know. 

Martin’s very upset, he almost cried, actually. I tried to comfort him, but he told me that everything wouldn’t be this way if I just didn’t exist. Molly wouldn’t be all sick, mama wouldn’t be gone, and papa would actually care for once. Molly got angry at him and they started fighting, there was a lot of screaming. They’re fighting because of me, that sucks...

Molly told me that I shouldn’t cry when she’s gone, because then she wouldn’t be there to hug and comfort me anymore.

I want to hug and comfort Molly as well, I hope she survives.


	8. 2011

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It looks like that my letters have been getting shorter recently...

Molly’s gone.

She’s gone...

We were at the hospital earlier, she was in critical condition. I wanted to go in and hug her, but they didn’t allow us. We were allowed to visit after a while, and she looked like she was about to die.

Martin was very sad, even if it didn’t look like it. Papa was upset as well, but Molly tried to lift up their spirits. Even if she’s close to death, she still wanted to put a smile on everyone’s faces.

But now she’s gone, forever...

You were a great big sis, Molls.

I miss you.

_Sincerely, your annoying little brother, Anthony._

**PS: Hopefully you’re doing well in heaven.**


	9. 2012

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry it’s been a while omfg—

_To my future self_

I don’t really care, anymore. Molly’s death messed everyone up.

Papa became more aggressive, and started hitting me. It hurts, I always beg him to stop. Martin used to be colder, he avoided me more than usual. Both of them were always out and about doing work, whatever they’re doing.

And that always left me alone in the house, it’s lonely.

Anyhow, Papa was at his most aggressive. Apparently Martin died while they were at a shoot out, and told me that we were a mafia family. I told him that I was willing to step up, and he did so. He taught me how to use a gun and everything, and introduced me to some drugs that we usually sent out. Why Molly even joined in is beyond me, Papa told me women weren’t allowed in the mafia, but I don’t know how Molly managed to sneak her way in.

At this point, I’m no longer grateful that Molly tried to drive me away from all the murder, it was gruesome.

I went to my first shoot out, and it was horrifying to say the least.

But Papa said this is going to be my new normal, still pissed that I became next in line, though. He never planned on it ending like that.


	10. HIATUS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry :((

So... I lost inspiration for this work, sorry...

HOWEVER!!!

I will be doing another Angel Dust-centered fanfic, kind of like a crossover of Fran Bow and Spirited Away, but there’s more of Spirited Away than Fran Bow, really.

Thanks for reading :))

**Editing here, I’ve decided that this won’t be discontinued. Rather, a hiatus until further notice. I still love this series honestly, but it’ll be a while until I find motivation again. Until then, I won’t be updating this. Thanks :)**


End file.
